So it's another New Year, social media is full of resolutions or lack of and comparison pictures from now and ten years ago.
I don't know about any of you but I'm starting the New Year in a unsettled place. I'm restless, single and a bit fat? It's strange, looking back at this time in previous years I was either pining for someone, having a bit of an identity crisis- after years finding myself alone for the first time in a while and this year even more so I'm in a place where I don't know what will happen next.
I'm starting up my Etsy business, keeping things up to date on here and trying some fund raising. If you are interested in any of the fund raising I have a slider on my Resin page- I'm aiming to raise £500 for Leukaemia UK. When someone is first diagnosed with cancer a charity such as Leukaemia UK or MacMillan will give £500 to help them bring their family close by covering travel expenses. Cancer is something that you don't really expect to effect you or a loved one, despite the statistics- nonetheless I've known relatives, close family friends and now my own friend who have lived with it or still live with it.
I'm also at the age where I am wanting to move, I love being at home, but after finishing University I find myself longing to return there. I think it will only be a matter of time, once the finances are in order then that will be the next big step. It's difficult wanting to move when you are single, having just the one income to work with. I could potentially rent, but I can't bring myself to- I know there is a certain sense of freedom that comes with it, but not being able to paint the walls or knowing that someone else owns your home and could decide they need the property back doesn't work for me.
So far this year is busy and I'm tired, fitting in art around work, seeing my friend who is unwell, making time for family but I'm also really happy.
I'm happy to not be in a relationship- or should I say the wrong one. Being single has meant being able to spend more time with friends, thanksgivings, friend valentines days/ friend dates (which if you have never had one I would 10/10 recommend getting dressed up for a nice meal with friends, or staying in, ordering a takeout in pjs and watching friends). It has also meant being lonely sometimes, which is also okay. I got followed last year and all I wanted was my ex- which for obvious reasons wasn't possible, but afterwards made me stronger. I've found that in being single I love myself more, which sounds really conceited but I love all my folds and wobbly bits, I wear clothes that just make me feel good, I'll wear ridiculous shades of lipstick because they make me smile, I've tried new things like pole fitness and I tried every cliche in the book during my time to get over them. Sometimes I struggle, I want to change or disappear, but then I force myself to keep going- bodies are so so amazing, you can achieve so much with them- how they look just isn't the most important thing.
So here's to a year of not knowing what will happen, here's to a year of being just a little bit fat, but also to laughing, to new memories. I'm so excited to be on this journey and to get to share it with you. Let's hope this time next year I'll have my business fully set up- next goal is a table at an expo like Comic Con.
Happy New Year.